Crystal Heart
by Catalyna Christopher
Summary: To figure out everything going on around me, I have to delve into my Somebody's horrible fate...this is gonna get rocky real fast. Rating may go up as the story continues.
1. Chapter 1

Well, I was recently doing one of those OC surveys, and I had an excellent idea for a new fanfic!

So here it is:Crystal Heart, chapter 1. I hope you will all enjoy it!

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_'I'm sorry...everyone, I'm so sorry...'_

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_

My eyes immediately sprang open. "Not that dream again...," I said quietly to myself, holding my forehead in my right hand. Those dreams always managed to give me a headache, especially early in the morning. I quickly stole a glance at the clock, it read 7:30. _Ugh, _I thought_._ Deciding that it would be better to just get up (besides the fact that I'd probably wouldn't be able to get back to sleep anyway;I was weird that way), I swung my feet over the side of my pure white bed.

Stretching my arms over my head, I heard a knock at my door. "Yo, you up?" I groaned, not really wanting to answer.

"I doubt it'd matter to you, so just open the damn door;I'm not a butler, you know," I growled, grabbing my Black Coat and throwing it over my head. "Crap," I muttered, getting my head stuck inside. I tugged on it, trying to get it off as I heard my door open. I sighed, the person who had just walked in started laughing.

"How in the hell do you _always_ get stuck in it?" I grunted, his teasing was not appreciated.

"Just help me get the damn thing over my head, will ya?" He laughed again, before I felt the zipper being tugged on. After a few seconds, I saw my room once again, before I saw Axel stand back from me, still sniggering. I quickly pulled the coat onto my arms, zipping it back down, yes I said down, not up. Whoever made these coats had a _serious_ problem... Anyway, I glared back at Axel, who was grinning at me;I always used to call that the 'Cheshire smile'. "It's not funny...this thing is too small for me in the waist!" He laughed once more.

"Well, next time, take better care of yours, then you wouldn't have to borrow Toothpick Waist's extras!" I laughed; Toothpick Waist, aka Larxene would kill him if she heard him say that...

...Not that I'd ever tell her, cause I called her that too, haha.

"Speaking of my coat, is it finally fixed?"

Axel nodded. "Actually, that's the reason why I came." He threw a bag at me. I opened it, _finally, _I thought, pulling out my original coat and..._another one?_ I pulled out a second Black Coat;apparently I had finally gotten the extra I'd asked for months ago. "You're welcome," he added, pointing at the extra one. I had to admit, he did have some pull around here...

"_Thank you, Axel,"_ I sarcastically stated, putting it in the fakest sweet voice I could manage. He then proceeded to flick me on the forehead. "Bastard," I spat at him. He just grinned.

"Hey, takes one to know one." I threw the pillow on my bed at him, which he inconveniently caught and threw back at me. I, being the uncoordinated one in the mornings, took it right to the face. I landed back on the bed, the pillow in my face.

"Oof...geez. Very funny, Axel," I muttered into my pillow.

I suppose now would be a great time to introduce myself. My name is Anichrixis, and I'm a Nobody. What's a Nobody, you ask? Well, a person is split into 3 parts:the heart, the body, and the soul. When a normal person loses their heart, the body is left behind, and if the heart was strong, a Nobody is the byproduct. An incomplete being without a heart, in the most basic sense. Our group, which goes by the name of Organization XIII, is the group of the strongest Nobodies in current existence.

There are currently 14 of us, and as for me, I'm number 14. I'm also one of the only Nobodies who can wield a Keyblade, the only other being Roxas. We destroy what's known as Heartless in order to further our leader's plans:to complete Kingdom Hearts so we can supposedly become 'whole'. Personally, I don't see what the big fuss is all about;I can get by just fine without a heart, but whatever. They're the ones who took me in when I had no other place to go, so I decided, what the hell, and joined them. In the process, I've made some great friends:Roxas, the aforementioned pain-in-the-butt Axel, and Demyx.

Of course, being Nobodies and all, we're only supposedly 'imagining the feeling' of being friends, but in my opinion, it's a load of bullshit. Not that I'd ever say that aloud, anyway.

"You two seem lively for so early in the morning." I grunted.

"Naw, that's just Flamey here being an ass as usual;G'morning, by the way, Roxas," I answered, lifting the pillow off my face and grinning at Roxas. He just laughed.

"Oh, well, then it's a normal morning, isn't it?" Axel grabbed his friend, putting him in a headlock.

"Haha, watch it, buddy!," Axel said, letting go of Roxas and smacking him on the back of the head. I laughed as Roxas winced, rubbing the back of his head.

"Geez, maybe I should." I laughed again, pulling my Coat—the right fitting one—over my head, then punched Axel in the arm.

"Hey, be nice to the Roxas," I scolded, grinning. Roxas and Axel laughed, and pretty soon I joined in, until we were all doubled over with laughter. "A-anyway, how's about we get some food, I'm starved!" Roxas wiped his eyes.

"Yeah, I agree," he added, so we all headed out to the kitchen.

* * *

When we finally arrived, Demyx was the only one there...with his head in the refrigerator. Getting an awesome idea, I elbowed Axel in the ribs, and put my finger to my mouth, signaling Roxas and Axel to be quiet. When they saw my huge grin, they both nodded. I slowly creeped up behind him, then I slung my arm over his shoulder, shouting "G'morning Demmy!" loudly in his ear. He jumped violently, knocking his head on the top. "Heh, oops," I said sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head. Roxas and Axel just laughed, then Roxas helped him up.

"You okay, Demyx?," Roxas asked. Demyx just rubbed his head, grinning.

"Nah, I'm good. Believe me, it's not the first time I've knocked my head." I grinned at him.

"Sorry Demyx, didn't mean for you to hit your head."

"It's cool, but it's way too early for you two to be up. What are you two doing up, anyway?," he asked, pointing at me, then at Axel, who had started raiding the refrigerator himself.

I waved my hand. "Eh, no reason, I suppose, but it was Axel's turn to clean the clothes, so he came and brought me my coat while he was at it. Speaking of Axel...," I trailed off, before walking over to the redhead and pulling him out of the refrigerator. "Dude, save some for us, will ya?," I told him.

"Hey, I don't eat as much as everybody else here! And there's another reason why I'm up so early," he added, reaching back in the fridge and throwing us each a drink. Mine was Pepsi, by the way;it was the only cold drink I drank. Fortunately for me, I wasn't the only one;Axel only drank it too. Roxas and Demyx had a Coke.

"Okay, so what's the deal?," questioned Roxas as he opened his drink.

"Well," Axel began, before taking a gulp, "me and Hothead Ani here have got a mission in Radiant Garden." He put his hand on my shoulder as I opened my Pepsi and took a long drink from it, thinking to myself. _That's the place where they first found me..._ I couldn't help what wonder what we were supposed to do there. Besides, I hadn't been to the place since they had taken me in. I was curious as to what it looked like now.

"Ohhh, but what are you supposed to do there?," Roxas asked, taking another sip. I looked up from my drink after taking a breath.

"There's supposedly a huge Heartless there that we need to destroy," Axel concluded, taking a long draft from his drink before sighing. "Bound to be fun, isn't it?," he added sarcastically. I groaned, facepalming.

"We get all the crappy work, don't we...," I muttered, before finishing my Pepsi and throwing the can in the garbage. I stretched, turning towards them. "Oh well, might as well get it over with," I said, none too excited about this mission. Axel nodded.

"Yeah, that's what I thought too. Guess we'll see you two later, then," he said, finishing his drink. Tossing the can in the trash, he opened a portal, and stepped through it. I waved at Demyx and Roxas, who smiled at me and waved back, as I stepped through the portal myself.

* * *

"Whew! What a view," I heard Axel say as I stepped out of the dark corridor. I quickly pulled my Black Coat off (I hated that thing;I just couldn't fight with it on), revealing my black skirt, my dark blue shirt, and my black vest, as well as my armwarmer and glove (on opposite arms, of course). I also had a fencing sword at my hip, held there by a slim chain hanging from my skirt. I couldn't help staring in awe myself. We were on the front part of the castle in Radiant Garden. From there, you could see just about everything in the town. I looked around, and saw something really familiar:the path to the left of us was the way that led inside the castle, which was where I woke up for the first time. I had assumed that was where my Somebody's heart had been released.

"Yo, you okay there, Ani?," Axel said, waving a hand in front of my face. I quickly snapped from my thoughts, shaking my head fervently. He just laughed. "Come on, we just got here. Don't spazz on me yet," Axel teased. I just stuck my tongue out at him.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's just get going, shall we?"

He nodded. "Yeah." He pointed to a path to the right of us. "That's where the target was supposed to have been spotted."

"Who was the one who saw it?," I asked, curious.

He just laughed, "Demyx was the one who found it, and he ran away from it almost immediately!" I laughed as well.

"Must've been one hell of a Heartless, huh?," I concluded. "Well, whatever, let's get going."

"Alright, let's go then." He started down the path that led into the canyon. I followed soon after him, but not before taking a quick glance back at the castle entrance.

* * *

After battling a few groups of Heartless and making our way down the canyon, we stopped for a breather. Neither of us had been here before, and the canyon was a lot longer than it looked. I sighed, taking a drink from my bottle of water and looking around. "There's not much around here, besides Heartless I mean," I commented, looking over at Axel.

"I'm sure it used to be a lot more...lively before the Heartless invaded," he said, walking toward me and sitting down.

"You think? Hmm," I wondered, "I would've liked to see it before the whole Heartless invasion." Axel chuckled a little, taking my water bottle and drinking from it. I scowled at him;he was _always_ taking my water, when I knew he had his own.

He must've noticed my expression, because he stopped drinking and stuck his tongue out at me. "It's not my fault you make it so easy," he said before raising the bottle back to his mouth and drinking more water—my water.

After a few seconds of deciding I'd had enough of that, I spontaneously hit the bottom of the bottle. Please tell me you get the brilliance of that. When the water went all over his face, I busted out laughing. "Hahaha, now THAT was too easy!," I said between laughs. He glared at me before dumping the rest on my head.

"Who's the one mad now, huh?," Axel said, after I stopped laughing and began glaring at him. Eventually I laughed, him joining in for a few seconds...before we heard a huge noise.

"What the hell...?," I wondered aloud. Axel shook his head.

"I don't know...it sounded...a little like...thunder, maybe?" I tilted my head towards where the sound had came from, cupping one hand around my ear. _There's that sound again...he's right, it does __sound kinda like thunder. But..._I thought, looking towards the sky, _there's not a cloud in sight! Unless..._

"Axel, do you think...?," I began, and he looked towards where the sound was.

"Yeah, there's no doubt about it...gotta be the target." I nodded. _That must be one HUGE Heartless to make a sound like that, _I thought, getting up and bringing out my Keyblade, Crystal Heart.

"Better get ready," I warned, walking towards the sound and motioning for Axel to get up. He did, summoning his chakrams as he did so. Axel walked further towards the sound, putting a finger to his lips. I shut up, because the last thing we needed was for that Heartless to hear us.

We heard the sound one more time before a horrible roar reached our ears. I covered mine, as did Axel, both of us wincing at the noise. "What the hell...kind of Heartless makes a noise like that...?," I wondered aloud.

Part of me really didn't _want_ to know what kind of Heartless it was at that point.

A few seconds later, we heard it again, followed by a HUGEMONGOUS shadow passing over us. We then saw a hideous and towering(what I guessed to be) Heartless land in front of us. _Eeeewww...it's disgusting_, I thought. The Heartless had a mask on the side of its head, and it had crimson red eyes, which were to the left of the mask. It was a dark red color, even a deeper crimson than its eyes, and it was dripping with something...darkness, I assumed. (A/N:If any of you have ever played Persona 3 or Persona 4, just think of how a Shadow's body is;that's what the dripping looks like.)

Axel's eyes widened. "What the...," he wondered aloud;apparently he'd never seen a Heartless like that before, either. As quick as it had landed, it reared back, sucking air into it's mouth. About two seconds after that, Axel yelled, "Get down!," pushing us both down as the Heartless spit out a blue flame. The flame went just above our heads, and it lasted a good 10 seconds.

"Holy freakin' crap," I muttered to myself. We both jumped out of its path when it began to rampage around the area we were in, running (or should I say sloshing?) on all fours. We managed to make it on the edge of the canyon wall, where we caught a quick breather. "Where in the great holy hell did that monstrosity come from?," I asked Axel, who had his hands on his knees, breathing heavily.

"I...have no idea," he said straightening up and looking down at the Heartless. "Well, either way, we've gotta get rid of it;it is the target, after all." I couldn't help looking at him like he was crazy.

"Are you nuts, Axel? Do you know how long that'll take?," I asked him in a low-pitched voice. "That thing's huge!" He looked at me for a second, eyebrows raised, before he laughed hard, summoning his chakrams once more.

"What, Ani? You scared?" I glared at him, before noticing that the Heartless seemed to notice us yakking away on the cliff. My eyes widened, and I summoned my Keyblade again. "What's wrong...aw, crap!," Axel yelled as we both jumped away from that part of the cliff;the crazy thing had managed to scale that huge wall! It chomped on the ground where we had been just seconds ago, before realizing that its 'prey' wasn't there, letting out a terrible roar once again. Axel had landed on the ground;I came down beside him. It started pouring down raining right as we landed. _Greeeaaaat..._

"What the hell are we supposed to do about that thing?," I wondered. There had to be something that would work against it...

"Yo, hate to interrupt your thought process, but, we've got company," Axel said, nodding at the people who had just showed up, pulling me closer to the entrance to the clearing so they wouldn't see us. _Turns out we weren't the only ones chasing that Heartless, _I thought, gazing at the group that had appeared at the other end of the place's entrance.

The first one had brown hair down to his shoulders, with a gunblade in his hands, and dark blue clothing, with a red belt. The second one had short, black hair, and she was carrying a shuriken. She had a vest on with a black shirt and khaki shorts, with light tan knee-high boots and a black bandanna circling her forehead.. The third one looked a little older than the others, and he was holding a spear. He was wearing a blue shirt with a jacket around the waist, and long brown pants. The last one had a humongous sword, and he had spiky blonde hair. He was wearing all black, with one arm covered by a sleeve, the other one only had a glove.

For some reason, they all felt...familiar to me, especially the last one...though I had never seen them before. The first one with the gunblade leapt up and slashed the thing in the back, which only seemed to anger it, for it only cried louder. The girl with the shuriken jumped up to the cliff, where the thing's head was, and threw what looked like a grenade at it. It exploded right in the thing's face, and the thing swung at her, knocking her down into the canyon near where we were.

"Yuffie! You alright?," the guy with the spear yelled, and apparently, she was, for 'Yuffie' got up, giving him a thumbs up. He then jumped up, stabbing the thing in the back;his spear got stuck in the thing, causing it to jerk around, with him still on it. He hung on, though, I'll give him that.

The last guy jumped up to the thing, hitting it square on the forehead with his sword, causing the thing to fall back into the canyon, not far from us. It landed with a huge 'thud', spraying black squishy stuff everywhere. Axel then nudged me, causing me to look up at him. He pointed at the Heartless, then at my blade, then nodded. Getting the message, I nodded back, then ran at the thing, jumping up in the air.

With a quick battle cry, I brought my Crystal Heart down upon the huge Heartless, cutting it in two. It roared once more before its head fell to the ground, and a crystal-like heart came floating up from the thing's forehead. The heart then was swallowed by a quick cloud of darkness, making it disappear. _One more heart for Kingdom Hearts_, I thought, looking up at the heart, then getting to my feet as the Heartless's body faded.

I was facing away from the little group who had crashed our little 'Heartless hunting party', and I grinned, giving Axel a thumbs up. He did the same, before a frown crossed his face, and he quickly disappeared behind the wall. _What the heck, Axel...?_ "Hey!," the guy with the gunblade called out. "Who are you?"

"Well, she must be strong if she took out that Heartless," the girl named Yuffie said, walking toward me apparently, because her voice got louder as she spoke again. "Hey, never seen you around here before."

"Woah, Yuffie. We don't even know if she's friendly," the guy with the gunblade said. "Who are you?," he asked again. I still hadn't turned around;I was still contemplating why their voices sounded so familiar...

"Yo! Why don't you turn around so we can get a proper look at 'cha," the guy with the spear said. I couldn't help but to start chuckling.

"Well, alright, I suppose that's only appropriate," I said, spinning around on my heel, grinning at them very broadly, my eyes closed. I heard them all gasp when I stopped.

"W-what the...!"

"It...it can't be! What's going on, Leon?"

"Wasn't she...-wait, Cloud, don't come down here!," yelled 'Leon'. I opened my eyes to see him yelling at the spiky-haired guy on the cliff, who jumped down, ignoring Leon's words. He landed safely on the ground, his eyes closed. The others quickly gathered around him, trying to block his view of me, for whatever reason, I guessed.

"What's going on down here? Who's the one who stopped the Heartless?," the spiky blonde haired one, Cloud, asked his companions as he stood up, brushing himself off.

"W-well...," Yuffie began, and at that point, I couldn't take being ignored anymore—I hated being ignored, period—and marched up to all of them, stopping in front of the group.

"I was the one who destroyed it. Got a problem, Spiky?," I informed them, questioning the blonde swordsman with the last part. He took one look at me-

-and his eyes widened considerably, a few (read:a heck of a lot) emotions floating through his eyes. "...no...no way...," he said, all of the feelings in his eyes quickly turning to confusion and mainly rage. "There's...no way...you're dead, I'm sure of it!," he yelled. I took a step back, _what the hell did I do to make this guy so mad at me? _The others apparently noticed his reaction, because they all stepped in front of him.

"Woah, now now Cloud, calm down, you can't assume anything!," Yuffie tried to reason with him, but it apparently wasn't working, for he answered back in a haze of anger.

"Bullshit!" She was pretty taken aback by that response, because she flinched. "I saw her die before my eyes! You all did!," he continued, reaching for and unsheathing the sword on his back. When they saw that, the other two guys grabbed him by the arms, trying to restrain him. "There's no way in hell that that's her;it's an imposter, I know it! LET ME GO!," he roared, straining against his friends' holds on him.

"Cloud," Leon began, struggling to hold on to him, "you're not thinking rationally. Calm the hell down!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME GO, DAMMIT!"

"No, 'fraid we can't do that, you'd probably kill the girl in the rage you're in right now!," the other guy said.

"AARRRGGGGHH! LET ME GO!," he shouted once more, and a blue flame-like glow enveloped his blade, then his body. He wrenched his arms from their holds, and the glow knocked his friends away from him. He stood in a battle stance, his sword in front of him.

I felt my legs start to shake, and my Keyblade quickly disappeared, my legs buckling under me.

I was truly afraid (for once) that this guy was really going to kill me. The look in his eyes was full of murderous rage, and as he started to walk towards me, I scooted back away from him, scared to death of what he was going to do.

Wouldn't you know it, that my luck just happened to run out, right there?

For my back quickly hit the canyon wall.

I looked up at the guy called Cloud;he was still coming towards me. _Sonofvabitch_, I thought, _my existence is going to be cut short by some crazy guy with a sword. And I have no idea what the hell I did!_ When he finally stopped walking towards me, he jumped into the air, doing a flip and bringing down his blade toward me. I shut my eyes, _the last thing I want to watch is definitely not this guy cutting me in half..._

But, to my great surprise, the edge of the sword never came down on me. _Huh?_ I thought, _I had seriously thought I was done for! _ I opened my eyes and looked up-

-to see Axel holding Cloud's sword back from hitting me with his chakrams. "Move!," he yelled at me, nodding in the direction of where he'd been hiding. _A portal...Sweet!_

"Thanks, Axel!," I yelled as I got up, hi-tailing it towards the portal.

"WAIT!," Cloud yelled at me, pulling his sword from Axel's chakrams, and charging towards me. I quickly pulled my Black Coat out and slung it over my head before running through the portal. I took one last look back through it, seeing Cloud running towards it. I looked towards Axel; seeing him going safely through his own portal, I closed the one I'd went through.

_What did that guy have against me?_ I wondered, starting on my way back through the Dark Corridor.

* * *

Somehow, I'm extraordinarily pleased with how this came out! XD

Please read and review! I really appreciate your opinions, dear readers, and I would love to know what you think about this new story.

Until next time, this is Catalyna Cullen, signing off!


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! I've made such progress in the last few hours, it's insane! The evil writer's block is gone, apparently!

Maybe that sword did the trick... (See Rulers of the Keyblades, chapter 6 intro for details)

Anyway, here's chapter 2.

Oh, and since I didn't do it in the first chapter, here's a disclaimer:

**I do not own anything in this fanfic, except the plot and the original characters.**

Happy reading!

(I wasn't sure whose point of view to make this first scene...but, eh, what can you do. This first part is in Leon's point of view, cause I think he'd understand it the most...oh well, you'll see. ^^ Oh, and the song featured in this chapter is 'My Immortal' by Evanescence.)

_I've given you all that I am_

_Now I stand here too scared to hold your hand_

_Afraid you might wait to see the monster that had to leave_

_Cause you see the shelter as the storm, holding wind to keep you warm_

_You are everything to me_

_This is why I have to leave_

_So sleep well, my angel_

"Sleep Well, My Angel", from We Are The Fallen

Leon POV

"WAIT!," I heard Cloud yell as he pulled his sword away from Axel's chakrams, and ran charging towards the girl. She quickly pulled a Black Coat out—_Organization XIII, _I thought to myself-and she slung it over her head before running through the portal. I saw her take one last look back through it, though why she was looking back was beyond me;Cloud had wanted to kill her, I was sure of that. I stole a glance towards Axel;he was opening through his own portal. I picked up my gunblade and charged at him; unfortunately he had already escaped.

"Damn...," I muttered to myself, not really sure what had happened in the first place. _That girl...how is it she looks so much like...her? And why would she be helping Organization XIII? None of this adds up! Unless...-_

"Leon!" I looked back towards my three companions;Cid had been the one to call me back from my thoughts. I walked back over to them.

"What now, Leon...?," Yuffie asked me. To be honest, I wasn't sure how to answer her;for once, I had no idea what to do.

"...Well, I think it'd be best to get back to Merlin's place so we can report to him what happened," I answered after an uncomfortable silence.

"But, what about...?" She trailed off as she looked at Cloud, who was standing exactly where he had been when the portal disappeared. _There's nothing any of us can do for him...he had to get over her death once already;to see her alive again must've been too much to take. _I wasn't sure what to say to him, but if we didn't get out of this pouring rain, we'd all be sick as dogs soon enough.

I sighed, knowing I was going to have to be the one to talk to him.

Slowly, I walked over to Cloud, coming to stand beside him. His head was bowed slightly, but I could tell, as I was sure both Yuffie and Cid could:he'd been staring at the same spot—the spot where the portal-and she-had disappeared. Cautiously, I put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, there's nothing we can do right now...-"

"Do NOT tell me to 'come on' right now." He answered in the most cold tone of voice that I had ever heard from him. _I never thought I'd hear him speak like that..._

"But Cloud, there's nothing you can do! Even if she weren't an impostor, she's already gone!" _Yuffie REALLY shouldn't have said that..._ Those feelings of dread were confirmed as his head snapped up to stare at her wide-eyed, and he raised his sword as if he was really going to strike her with it. We quickly reacted;she took a few steps backward to put some distance between her and Cloud, and I grabbed the handle of his sword, ready to knock it out of his hands if necessary. I knew I might have to;his eyes were crazed in a way that I've never seen on anyone, let alone Cloud.

He stared at her, then his gaze shifted to me, to Cid, then to the ground. Taking a few calming (and shuddering) breaths, his grip on his sword eventually slackened, before he took it and sheathed it completely. We all watched as he walked a little ways away from us, sighing as he did so. "I'm...sorry, Yuffie, Leon, Cid." Cid and I nodded, Yuffie as well after a few seconds.

A few seconds after that, he dropped to his knees, punching the ground with his right hand once before looking up at the sky, the rain still pouring down. We all saw him mouth the words 'I'm so sorry' to the sky, or maybe the rain itself, I wasn't sure.

He stayed like that for a couple of minutes before he got up, slowly walking toward the exit of the canyon and toward the castle. "We should go after him," Yuffie suggested after we watched him go;I shook my head at that idea.

"No, we should just leave him for a while," I offered. Cid nodded, placing a hand on Yuffie's shoulder.

"Let Spiky be for a while, Yuffie. He needs to sort out his goddamn jumbled mind, and it's best he does that alone." And with that, he turned back toward the way to town, heading that way as he did so. Yuffie and I soon followed.

"You think he'll be alright, Leon?," Yuffie asked, obviously concerned for the blonde swordsman—after all, who wouldn't be after seeing him go through that? I shook my head in uncertainty.

"I...don't know, Yuffie. I just don't know."

Cloud POV

I could feel the rain throughly soaking through my clothes as I walked through the canyon, deep in thought.

_ I'm so tired of being here_

_ Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_There's no way...that was her, I'm certain of it, _I thought solemnly. I cast my gaze up to the sky, which almost seemed to be mocking me. "What? You don't think I've had enough? Is that it!," I yelled to the rain, barely able to stand what I was feeling. _Seeing her again...it really sent me over the edge, _I thought, thinking of what had happened earlier. I knew that I shouldn't have threatened Yuffie, but at that moment, I really hadn't cared...

_I didn't care about anything...just... _

I sighed again as I walked up to the front part of the castle, stopping and sitting down under one of the overhangs of the building. I leaned back and watched the rain fall all around me as the memories came flooding back into my mind.

_I honestly thought that I'd put it all behind me, but..._ I closed my eyes, letting the random bits of memories float before my eyes.

When she first met me...

_ "Geez, do you seem broody...I know! How about I cheer you up, okay?"_

How she'd reacted when she'd heard about my past...

_ "Hmm...I know you've been through a lot, but hey, you've got friends now, right? Isn't that what matters?"_

I shook my head;remembering it all now wasn't going to help...

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

But...all those memories...the emotions were just too much _not _to remember...

_Flashback_

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time can not erase_

"Wait. Wait, I said!," she called as she ran up to me. I turned back towards her as she finally caught up to me. She put her hands on her knees and breathed heavily. "Don't...go, dammit. Didn't you hear what we said?," she continued as she straightened up, looking up at me. I turned away from her.

"I did, but...I'm still going. I don't care what you say." Truth be told, I _did _care what she had to say, more than anything, but...I couldn't let that stop me. I had more important things to do than worry about them.

"But..." I shook my head.

"No...just...stop it." I walked a few steps forward. "I just..." She ran forward, grabbing my arm gently.

"You just wanna run again, is that it?" I looked back to her, shocked.

"H-how did you...?" She smiled.

"It's way too obvious...you won't tell anyone when something's wrong;you just run away from them. We only wanna help you, y'know," she scolded, letting go of my arm and shaking her head at me. I looked away from her.

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you screamed, I'd fight away all of your fears_

_When did she get to know me so well...?,_ I wondered. "Just...let me deal with this. I...I don't want to worry you." She got right in my face, shaking her head.

"Well, too late, Spiky, I'm already worried." She frowned. "I swear, why won't you just tell me what's bothering you? You've been acting weird lately;don't act like we haven't noticed."

"I, I just..." I trailed off when I saw that look in her eyes;she knew that I couldn't lie very well. She tilted her head to the side.

"Hmm...?" She stared at me a moment more before sighing and shaking her head. "You know, I'm almost ready to give up on you," she said jokingly, then she became serious again. "You almost seem like you want to be left alone." _That's...that's not true..._

"No...it..." I shook my head as well, sighing heavily. "I...don't like being alone..." She sat down beside me.

"Then why do you keep avoiding everyone?" I slowly sat down beside her, casting my gaze far away. "You've been avoiding me most of all...hell, for a while, I thought you were mad at me." I looked back at her, my eyes widening.

"What...made you think that?," I asked. _Why would I be mad at you..._

"The fact that you've been avoiding me the last few weeks. You had me worried, you know." She turned her gaze downward. "You worry everyone when you push them away. It makes us think that we did something to upset you. Believe it or not, we worry less when you're just your normal, slightly brooding self," she told me, laughing slightly. I chuckled at her description of me, looking back into the distance before I sighed again.

"I just...don't know." I shook my head again. I felt her gaze turn back to me as I continued. "There's...something I'm really unsure about...and I'm not sure what else I can do but run from it." She 'hmmm'-ed slightly.

"I guess I can understand...but whatever it is, I know this much:running away isn't gonna solve anything. It'll do nothing but make your friends worry."

"Do...you worry?," I asked her, turning towards her. She looked confused, then she shook her head, grinning.

"What, about you? Don't be silly, of course I do. I wouldn't be out here coming after you if I didn't." I looked away from her again.

_And I held your hand through all of these years _

"I...don't want you...to worry about me."

"But...why? I'm your friend, aren't I? Friends are supposed to worry about each other..." I shook my head.

"Yeah, I suppose...but that's not what I mean...I don't want -you- to worry."

"What do you mean? I'm not sure I get it..."

"I mean I don't want you to worry about anything!," I told her, looking back to her. "I want...I want you not to worry...I want you happy...that's what I want, more than anything..." I trailed off, looking down again. "I just want..." I heard her start to speak, but she stopped, before she did something I completely didn't expect.

I felt her gently wrap her arms around me.

My eyes widened significantly;of all things, I hadn't expected her to do that...

"I know...that you don't want me to worry about you...but I can't help it...I can't help but worry when you shut everyone out. I just...don't want you to push people away...that's no way to live, to be all alone." I shook my head slowly.

"But...I don't know...what else to do." She laughed slightly.

"...You could always try letting people know what you're feeling, you know." I heard her sigh heavily. "Just please...don't shut your friends out...don't shut _me_ out..."

I sighed, _then just how am I supposed to make sure you don't worry...how am I supposed to deal with what I feel when you look at me with those worried eyes? _

_ I don't know what to do when you're around...I don't want to make you worry...but I don't want to keep anything from you. I want to tell you everything;I...want to pour my heart out to you, but..._

"I don't want to bother you...with my problems." She released me slowly as I continued. "I'll...only make you worry more." She reached for my hand, and hesitantly put her hand on top of mine.

_But you still have all of me_

"I...I don't care if you make me worry...I just want to help you. I don't care what that causes for me...I don't." She shook her head. "You've been through enough as it is..." I looked up, into the distance again.

_You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating light_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

"Don't...don't worry about me...I'll be alright." I turned my hand and gently held hers, squeezing it gently before standing up. "I just..." I couldn't finish, though I wasn't sure why.

I started to walk away from her, when she grabbed my hand, holding onto it tightly. "Please...please, don't go." I tried to tug my hand out of her grip, but...I just couldn't.

_Please...just let me go...I...can't bear to make you worry about me like this..._

_ But I...I can't bear to think of you ever letting me go, either..._

_Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams_

"Cloud...?," she asked gently, not letting go of me.

"Yeah..."

"I don't want you to go."

_Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me_

I shook my head. "Yeah, I know." I heard her foot stomp heavily on the ground in frustration.

"Then why? Why do you want to leave so badly?," she yelled.

"Because...I can't take it anymore..." I felt her gently drop my hand.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time can not erase_

"What? What can't you take? Being around people who really care about you...?"

"No!" I turned back toward her, feeling as if I were at my wit's end. "That's not it...I just can't take being around someone, knowing that I'm making them worry, knowing that I can't protect them...especially...you," I concluded quietly, looking down.

"Cloud...why...do you not want me...to worry about you...? Is it because I'm a nuisance to you...is that it?" I looked up at her, shaking my head fiercely and placing my hands on her shoulders.

"No! Of course not. You're everything but a nuisance to me..." I trailed off, not knowing how to put what I felt into words. She shook her head.

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you screamed, I'd fight away all of your fears_

"Then...what am I to you...I don't understand." She looked back up at me. "I can't take this...please, just tell me why. Why don't you want me to worry?"

_Why...? Why don't I want to tell you what I feel when I'm around you? What it feels like to always have your support...what it feels like to know that you care?_

"I...I'm sorry...I just...don't know how to say it..."

She looked confused. "I don't get it...why is it so hard? Just say what you feel. That's it;that's all I want to know. Please." I closed my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I let my head fall to her shoulder, resting my forehead against it.

"That's all...?," I wondered aloud. She nodded. _Is it really that simple...? Maybe I should just tell her...-no. She worries enough about me as it is..._

We stayed silent for a minute or so before she pulled away from me. "Fine," she said irritably, "don't tell me...just let me worry about you even more..." I heard her voice start to crack as she looked away from me. My eyes widened when I saw tears forming in her eyes. "I guess I was a fool for worrying about you all this time;you'll never tell me what's wrong with you, anyway...you never tell me anything anymore..." She started to turn away from me when the first tear slid down her face.

I looked down, clenching my fists. _Damn it...this was the last thing I wanted..._ At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but...my guilt for worrying her kept me rooted to the spot. "I...want to tell you...but...I just, I can't bring myself to do it. I can't make you worry anymore than I already do..." She suddenly spun around, a frustrated look on her face.

"Dammit Cloud! No matter what you do, no matter where you go, I'll worry about you! Can't you realize that?" She looked down at her feet. "Can't you see that...I really do care about you...that I really want nothing more than to worry about you...?" She shook her head fiercely, before running at me, burying her head in my chest. I stumbled back slightly from the shock, my arms not wanting to move. We both stayed quiet for a few moments.

"...But...I just...don't know what to do...I want to let you in, but...I don't want to hurt you." She slowly stepped away from me. She looked up at me as I continued. "I...don't know how exactly to say it...but I want to protect you. I want to make sure that nothing worries you...that you're completely happy..." I trailed off as I put my arms around her, pulling her close and closing my eyes. "I want...nothing more...than to make you happy...that's all I've ever wanted since I met you."

_And I held your hand through all of these years _

I heard her laugh slightly. "That's what I've wanted to do for you since I met you..." My eyes opened and widened significantly.

"But..why? Why would you want...to make me happy...?" She pulled away from me, wiping her eyes.

"Because. You've been so lost all your life...you deserve some happiness too, you know." I turned away.

"I...just don't know...I don't think I...deserve it." I felt her hand gently wrap around mine.

"Please, there's more to it than this, I know it..." I heard her head shake again slowly. "Cloud...please answer me...what...do I mean to you...?"

_What she...means to me...?_

I turned back to her, gently placing my hands on her shoulders once more. "I...I'll be honest...I didn't really know what I felt at first...but as time went on, I...I think I realized..." I pulled her close to me again. I took in a deep breath, trying to find the best way to say it.

"I...I think I love you." I felt her stiffen in shock for a second, before I felt her hands lift up to grip the back of my shirt tightly.

"I...I don't know...what to say...darn it, Cloud," she said, before I heard her start to cry again.

"You...don't have to say anything...I'm just..." I trailed off, resting my head against hers.

"No, I do have to say something...something that I've wanted to tell you for a while..." I heard her sniffle slightly. "I-I love you too, Cloud...I have...for a while...I just...didn't want to tell you...I was scared or uncomfortable or something and I just..." I shook my head slowly.

"It's alright...I understand, believe me." She chuckled, then gently pulled away from me, her gaze turned downward.

"So you're not...gonna leave again, are you?" I blinked, then laughed slightly. I walked back up to her, stopping when I was beside her. I lifted a hand and placed it on the top of her head.

"I'm...not going anywhere."

"Promise...?"

"Yeah, I promise."

_But you still have all of me_

_End of Flashback _

I shook my head fiercely;_the last thing I want to do is remember all these things again, _I thought solemnly. I placed a hand on my chest, clenching the fabric tightly. _I can barely hold myself together anymore... _

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_

I looked back up at the sky, then shivered slightly;I was completely soaked from the rain, and it was getting colder, I could feel it.

_Then again, maybe it's the fact that I promised_ I _wouldn't go anywhere...but _you_ ended up leaving _me_ instead... _

I leaned back against the wall once more, closing my eyes. _If only I could've protected you...things would... _

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you screamed, I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years _

I noticed the rain slowly coming to a stop, so I stood up, pushing myself away from the wall and began walking back down the canyon, deciding to make my way back to Merlin's.

I really needed to apologize to my friends...

_That's what she'd have wanted, anyway..._

_But you still have all of me_

_

* * *

_

Whew! I can't believe I stayed up until almost three in the morning trying to finish this chapter!

It's also very strange;for the first time, I actually got emotional over what I was writing. I actually _cried _while I was writing it! Can you believe that?

Hmm, maybe it was because I was so tired, lol.

And if this chapter was a little too broody for you...well, Cloud's always been broody;I just hope I didn't make him too OOC. :) Also, I was wondering if I could get your opinions on something from this chapter, dear readers. In the last scene of the flashback, do you think they should have kissed? This has been bugging me for a while, so I would love to get your opinion on this. Pleas message me with your opinions!

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I will try to get the next one up soon! Until then, please R&R!

This is Catalyna Cullen, signing off!


	3. APOLOGIES CHAPTER

**APOLOGIES! TO ALL MY READERS...**

Hey my readers (not sure if I still have any after my close-to-two-year-hiatus, but whatever lol). I know, I've been terrible and have not uploaded ANYTHING in close to two years.

I know a lot of you guys are probably pissed as shit at me, and I don't blame you.

I do have good news, however...

I WILL FINALLY GET BACK TO WORK ON MY FANFICS!

Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but I FIIIINALLY have a working laptop again. The old one gave me a blue screen of death and I have been unable to write fanfics on a computer for TWO YEARS. I've been handwriting everything! It's killer on my hands T.T

But since I have a new laptop (BRAND new, thank you very much;take my advice and NEVER buy a refurbished laptop...), this means that I will finally get to write again! And post chappies for you guys to read! (Whoever's still wanting to read em, anyway. lol)

I will be updating ALL my stories soon!

Oh, and also...I will be changing my penname to Catalyna Christopher after uploading this (so to any of my previous readers who might be confused:

My old name:**Catalyna Cullen**

My new name:**Catalyna Christopher**

Just so you guys don't get confused. I love you guys and I promise I will be posting ACTUAL chapters within the next couple of weeks! Stay tuned!

-Catalyna Cullen (soon to be Christopher)


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